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posted: 05/16/12 · · reblog

Watching 221B 

Blaah I am so sleepy I cannot write anything good.  Or short, apparently.

I will nap, and then try for those bonus questions.  Oh god, where is my bed.  Where am I. What.

-

Prompt: Geek Interpreter


“We’ve lost eyes on 221B, Mr. Holmes.”

If Mycroft had been a man of lesser manners, he might have groaned.  Maybe thrown up his arms and thrown around a few tea trays.  But, being in fact Mycroft Holmes after all, he simply exhaled with just enough impatience to tell his secretary, Hestia (was her name for this month), that he was not in the mood for Sherlock-sitting today.

“He found the camera?”

“Yes, Mr. Holmes.”

“I shouldn’t have had it in the coffeemaker.  I knew eventually he’d run out of Bunsen burners.”

“Yes, Mr. Holmes.”

“How long?”

“Three hours fourteen minutes.  And counting.”

“…Excuse me?”

“James Cooper is new, Mr. Holmes, he didn’t know the protocol.  Spying on two men in their flat didn’t seem urgent to him.”

“No, of course it wouldn’t”

“I believe the word he used was, ‘disturbing.’”

“Yes, mustn’t offend Mr. Cooper’s delicate sensitivities.  Meanwhile, in the three hours fifteen minutes Sherlock Holmes has been let loose into the world, England may have fallen.  Has my brother been found?”

“…No.”

“Fire Cooper.”

“Mr. Holmes, James Cooper just became a father three months ago, and his wife doesn’t earn anywhere near enough as a schoolteacher to support the both of them, plus a newborn baby.  Everybody makes mistakes.”

“This is unusual.  Are you experience a sudden awakening of human compassion?  Or are you perhaps having some sort of medical emergency?”

“Neither, Mr. Holmes.  But when you sacked Phillips you told me to remind you about these things next time.  And I also sent Cooper out to locate Sherlock himself.  He should be reporting in any moment now.”

“Ah, yes.  Of course.  Tell me, Hestia, is Dr. Watson still at work?”

“No, he returned at noon, and our CCTV south of Baker Street shows them getting into a cab together and driving away two hours ago.  Wherever Sherlock is, John is probably with him.”

“Well that’s something at least.”

—-

It was an hour before Hestia came knocking on Mycroft’s office door again.  She was holding a sheaf of papers in her perfectly manicured hands.

“Surveillance footage?” Mycroft picked up the top sheet.  His eyebrows climbed up his forehead to burrow in his scalp.

The grainy photograph seemed to have been taken on a cell phone.  There was a crowd of spectators in what looked to be Shaftesbury Ave by the architecture.  All gaping openly at a blue man with a sword fighting two black-clad ninjas.  On second glance it was clear from their posture and the wrinkles on their costumes who hid under those masks.

“What in heaven’s name are they doing now?”

“Mr. Cooper said it was something about comic books.  He also determined that it was not dangerous or illegal.”

Mycroft frowned at a photograph of Sherlock wrestling a teenager wearing a leotard and a plastic set of horns on his head.  He absently waved at Hestia to leave.

A picture of John halfheartedly punching a man whose beard extended, it seemed, down into his collar.  He was wearing a sequined mask.  The bearded man, not John.  John was wearing an expression of intense shame and embarrassment.  And also a ninja outfit that was suspiciously authentic.

Mycroft made a mental note to check up with the British Museum of Natural History. 




posted: 05/16/12 ·5 ♥ · reblog

Prompt 7: The Geek Interpreter
by thesociopathshavethephonebox (Team Harry)

SALLY IS THE MOST PUT-UPON PERSON IN SCOTLAND YARD.

Sally Donovan’s Files
Dated: June 12th - 17th 2011

Day 1: June 12th
Bloody hell. Anderson’s off again.
Stupid performance of his.
Once again, I’m left to do all the paperwork.

Day 2: June 13th
A MASSIVE LOAD OF PAPERWORK
BECAUSE ANDERSON KEEPS KNOCKING OFF EARLY.
Bloody Anderson.

Day 3: June 14th
More paperwork.

Midnight Receipt from Tesco’s

INVOICE:
boxed wine (no brand) @ 34p
        x 8
Your final bill is 272p
Have a nice day!

Have a nice day, my arse.
The only way my days will get nicer
Is if I get to watch the performance art
And throw things at Anderson and heckle.

Day 4: June 15th
Boss is out.
Time to bother the freak.
Oh hang on, I can’t.
I’VE GOT TONS OF PAPERWORK.
I’m gonna get frownlines, and
It’ll all be Anderson’s fault.

Day 5: June 16th
Ah finally, a lovely, sunny Saturday.
John’s blog’s updated, how delightful.
On my third glass of wine - it’s 10 AM.
All is bright and cheerful.

HANGOVER HANGOVER HANGOVER

Augh - my head’s pounding.
Paperwork load left: 1/2

GREAT.

Day 6: June 17th
Slept through the whole latter half of Saturday
Hangovers are the worst
No paperwork today, I can have Anderson do it all tomorrow
Considering tonight is his performance
And I’ve got tickets

DO YOU HEAR ME ANDERSON

I’VE GOT TICKETS

I’M GOING TO TESCO’S LATER


TO BUY OVERRIPE FRUIT


TO THROW AT YOUR PRETENTIOUS FACE


Receipt from Tesco’s
INVOICE:
tomatoes @ 10p/g
    x 3
strawberries @ 40p/g
    x 2
cabbages @ 12p/g
    x5

I didn’t even stick around to wait for it to finish printing
Took off with the stuff from Tesco’s, put 10 pounds on the
Counter, told the guy to keep the change.

IT’S GOING TO BE A VERY GOOD EVENING.




posted: 05/16/12 ·2 ♥ · reblog


Few people know this, but the real reason Jim became a consulting criminal is because he used to be a struggling artist.  When he read about the Geek Interpreter case on John’s blog, he made sure he’d get hired to work on the Baker Street Boys graphic novel series.
-
UM?  I honestly sat down to write a sad, dramatic fic and then this came out instead. whatiswrongwithme- So part 3 of the prompt (character must choose between two loved ones to kill) is really tricky for this one since I’ve decided to take the dumbass route and do something silly.  Also Jim has no loved ones.
I THINK I’ll try to just add in the description that Jim had to choose which of his characters to kill first.  Then decided to just kill everyone and leave one alive.  Or something.  I’m so sleepy augh-
Also: I just reused the Generic-Female-Superhero-Contortionist-Pose for John, so his superpower is being able to twist really far around.

Few people know this, but the real reason Jim became a consulting criminal is because he used to be a struggling artist.  When he read about the Geek Interpreter case on John’s blog, he made sure he’d get hired to work on the Baker Street Boys graphic novel series.

-

UM?  I honestly sat down to write a sad, dramatic fic and then this came out instead. whatiswrongwithme- So part 3 of the prompt (character must choose between two loved ones to kill) is really tricky for this one since I’ve decided to take the dumbass route and do something silly.  Also Jim has no loved ones.

I THINK I’ll try to just add in the description that Jim had to choose which of his characters to kill first.  Then decided to just kill everyone and leave one alive.  Or something.  I’m so sleepy augh-

Also: I just reused the Generic-Female-Superhero-Contortionist-Pose for John, so his superpower is being able to twist really far around.




posted: 05/16/12 ·3 ♥ · reblog

Prompt 7: The Geek Interpreter
by thesociopathshavethephonebox (Team Harry)

Anderson’s secret love is performance art. They mistook him for Professor Davenport.

Scotland Yard Chat Log (June 2, 2011)
A : sally, tell lestrade i have to knock off early
S : I’m not telling him anything, Anderson. Tell him yourself.
A : cant
A : have a prior engagement
A : please just do it
S : What’s this prior engagement, then, Anderson?
A : cant say
A : its a secret
A : you’ll laugh
S : To be honest, Anderson, I don’t really care.
S : Tell him yourself - I’m working.

Scotland Yard Chat Log (June 3, 2011)
S : Why are you covered in blue dye?
A : …i dont have to answer that
S : You’re a performance artist! That’s it, isn’t it?
A : nope
A : not answering that
S : But that’s why you keep asking me to tell Lestrade you’re knocking off early!
S : It’s so you can practice for your show!
S : Why didn’t you tell us, Anderson?
A : because im not a performance artist
S : The newspapers beg to differ, Anderson.
A : WHAT
Recieving image from S…
A : what is that
S : A picture of you I found this morning.
A : WHAT
S : It’s not as though I was looking for it.
A : THATS NOT ME SALLY
S : Yes it is, Anderson.
S : I know cerulean when I see it.
S : It’s the color of my sofa.
A : fine okay
A : that’s exactly it
S : Just so you know, the tabs think you’re a cosplayer.
A : but you MUSTNT TELL ANYONE
A : if my secret got out omfg i would die
S : Alright, alright. I’ll keep it quiet.

Memo to Anderson from GL - June 3rd
Sorry, Anderson, you can’t knock off work early anymore
Big things happening
UNLESS YOU CAN ALL GET US INTO YOUR PERFORMANCE
HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA

Memo to GL from Anderson - June 5th
not funny sir
its a good release for all my tension
do you want the tickets

Memo to Anderson from GL - June 5th
NOTHING WOULD MAKE ME HAPPIER ANDERSON
THAN TO SEE YOU COVERED IN CERULEAN
FLAILING ABOUT A STAGE

Scotland Yard Chat Log (June 6, 2011)
A : SALLY DONOVAN I WILL END YOU
S : What on Earth are you blabbering on about now?
——————————-A has signed out————————————




posted: 05/16/12 ·1 ♥ · reblog

Prompt 7: The Geek Interpreter
by thesociopathshavethephonebox (Team Harry)

In which Lestrade is a fanboy.

June 8th - MEMO TO BOSS
Request to have the day off June 15th
Something I can’t miss

June 9th - TO DO
Buy Comic-con ticket
Make The Flying Bludgeon costume
Buy some frozen food
Tell April to cancel all my meetings for the 15th
Shove it in Donovan’s face that I’ve got the day off
Shove it in Donovan’s face that I’ve got the day off

June 10th - MEMO FROM BOSS
Request denied. June 15th is important.

Greg’s Diary - June 10th (AM)
Worst morning in my life. Came in to find out that I can’t go to bloody Comic-con.
Thanks boss.
Christ, it’s unfair. Anderson gets to go to his stupid recitals and knock off early to
practice for them.
Anyway I never get a day off.
Just once I’d like one.
Will try again later.


June 10th - MEMO TO BOSS
Requesting again to have the day off June 15th
Really sir, it’s very important to me

June 11th - MEMO FROM BOSS
I’ll say it again - request denied
There’s something up, and we need you, Greg

June 12th - TEXT TO BOSS (9:25 AM)
PLEASE GIVE ME THE DAY OFF

June 12th - TEXT TO BOSS (11:30 AM)
PLEASE GIVE ME THE DAY OFF

June 12th - TEXT TO BOSS (2:34 PM)
PLEASE GIVE ME THE DAY OFF

June 12th - TEXT TO BOSS (5:58 PM)
PLEASE GIVE ME THE DAY OFF

June 12th - TEXT TO BOSS (6:57 PM)
PLEASE GIVE ME THE DAY OFF

June 12th - TEXT TO BOSS (8:49 PM)
PLEASE GIVE ME THE DAY OFF

June 12th - TEXT TO BOSS (11:15 PM)
PLEASE GIVE ME THE DAY OFF

June 13th - TEXT TO BOSS (3:39 AM)
PLEASE GIVE ME THE DAY OFF

June 13th - TEXT FROM PA (2:30 PM)
Just cleared it up with your boss sir.
He finally agreed.
Told me to tell you he’s changed his number
And will never tell you what it is.


Greg’s Diary - June 13th (PM)
Yes!!!!!!!!
Not enough time to work on my costume, though…
Should just express order online, then - use my
Scary voice.


June 14th - MEMO TO PA
Did you cancel all my meetings?

June 14th - MEMO FROM PA
Yes sir.
Are these Comic-con tickets
Yours, sir?

June 14th - MEMO TO PA
Of course not, April. They’re for
Samuel.

June 14th - MEMO FROM PA
Of course not, sir, no. Only, it says
Here on the receipt, one adult male
In costume as the Flying Bludgeon
Aged 45 years, sir.
…Wouldn’t happen to be you, sir,
Would it?

June 14th - MEMO TO PA
…Not a word of this to anyone.

June 14th - MEMO FROM PA
Oh no, sir, not at all.

<Office Address - one Flying Bludgeon costume, for a Mr. Greg Lestrade?>

Greg’s Diary - June 14th
It’s here!
MY COSTUME’S HERE!
I may have suffered some slight indignity
And embarrassment upon its arrival
But it’s here!
Not going to work tomorrow!
TIME TO SHOVE IT IN DONOVAN’S FACE.


June 14th - TEXT TO SGT. DONOVAN (6:14 PM)
I’M NOT GOING TO WORK TOMORROW

June 14th - TEXT TO SGT. DONOVAN (8:59 PM)
HAVE FUN WITH ANDERSON
HIS BALLET RECITAL’S COMING UP
SOON, RIGHT?
HA HA HA HA HA
GOOD LUCK WITH THAT SALLY

June 14th - TEXT TO SGT. SALLY DONOVAN (10:30 PM)
WAS GONNA INVITE YOU OUT
FOR DRINKS LATER WHEN I REALISED
YOU HAVE WORK TOMORROW
HA HA HA HA HA
HAVE FUN WITH ANDERSON


Greg’s Diary - June 14th (PM)
Time for some shut-eye. Can’t be
drowsy at Comic-con!


June 15th - Morning
Eyes open. Vision blurred.
Vision ceases to be blurred.
Registers what today is.
JUNE 15th - SOHO!
Breakfast breakfast breakfast
Hurriedly eating breakfast
It is 7:34 AM - LATE.

June 15th - Noon
Have not eaten since 7:34.
This line is so bloody long.
Wonder if I can pull rank with the guards.
Wonder if it’ll work.

June 15th - Noon
Just got in.
Crowded. Sweaty. Musty.
Stale. Nasty. Bootleg porn everywhere.
Christ I love Comic-con.

June 15th - Afternoon
Has-beens everywhere.
Everything I ever wanted signed.
Jesus what’s going on?
Ninjas fighting a superhero?
Ninjas running off.
Bloody cowards. Well done, superhero mate.
Wait is he
He’s the guy
The guy that’s been imagining
Oh no okay
Apparently KRATIDES has been using him
As a marketing campaign
Christ these marketing guys
Is there no depth they won’t sink to?
Going home now.

Greg’s Diary - June 16th (PM)
Crazy day at Comic-con yesterday.
Pretty weird with the guys in ninja costumes.
Funnily enough, saw Sherlock and John outside
A few blocks past Soho.
All in all, a good day.